Did somebody say "mattress" to Mr. Lambe
The Nubbanator random_syzygy
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Dear my users:
Please learn to tell the difference between "There is a bug in the system", "I can't log in to the system", and "The system is down". It's really not that hard.

Sure, if you tell me "the system is down" when it's not, I will handle your problem faster. I will also hate you.

*facepalm*